1. Clothes actually smell better after you’re finished
2. You just logged a .5K run
3. Personal trainer keeps using you as example of what not to do
4. Guy with no arms is bench pressing more than you
5. Favorite machine: ElevatorMaster
6. You have to ask somebody which direction to walk on treadmill
7. You’re using an inflatable kettlebell
8. According to elliptical readout, you almost burned a calorie
9. You spend 95% of your workout time “limbering up”
10. You rest so long between sit-ups that a nurse walking by starts performing CPR on you
11. You carry a water bottle packed with cherry pie filling
12. You work out in penny loafers
13. Gym nickname: “Creampuff”
14. You leave car running during your workout
15. Favorite workout playlist on your iPod is nothing but lullabyes
16. Your gluteus never seems to get any less maximus
17. Heart rate monitor continuously flatlines
18. Your “yoga” is just you sitting Indian-style and working a sudoku puzzle
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